Overwhelmed With Growing Up...

[No longer here: If you missed it then you should have been quicker! Shouldn't you!]

Still in Brisbane

So i managed to escape the rat infested hostel and found my own room in a shared house, a 10 minute walk from the brizzy CBD. I managed to use my powers of persuasion (and a couple of bucks) to get the letting agents to agree to a lease less than the standard 3 months. Moving into my room was nice. Its ultra quiet but its my own space to call home for the time i'm here. I can come and go as I please. Everyone in the house is foreign, among them there are 2 columbians (one, a strange woman who walks round talking to herself and only seems to eat fried eggs and rice), a nudist from the lebanon (i am serious! you couldn't make this stuff up) who urinates with the door open and freaks all the girls out, a guy from the philipines, one swedish guy, a canadian, two irish girls and a very strange australian guy who never comes out of his room, who i hear strange buzzing noises emanating from his door at ungodly hours of the morning. Its like being back at university only, slightly cleaner (although maybe my standards of have gone down since being on the road) and this lot aren't half as weird as the guys i lived with at uni :) I think i am considered the rebel of the house as i can come in at 5am on the weekends and because i sometimes don't cook dinner till 10pm!? half the rest are in bed by 10. they find it unbelievable that i can only have 5/6 hours sleep some nights and go to work, so yeah its a real party up in here!

Well we are in the "depths" of winter over here at the moment and it has got colder, cloudier and a little wetter in "sunshine state" brisbane since my last post. I'll be honest, I didn't expect winter in Queensland to be like this, its not exactly freezing but there have been clouds in the sky masking the much needed sun over the last couple of weeks. But apparently this weather is out of character for this time of year. Is this result of our lack of care for the planet? Probably... But it seems that this may have just been a blip as the past few days have been a solid mid 20c, so its coming back. I haven't done much except work in the past month here. I am "just a temp" which means i don't know where i'm at from one week to the next, even if i will have work the next week. I've done everything from work as a paralegal for a city law firm through to filing in the past fortnight. One job was a major disaster. It turned out that it was working in a dirty basement literally lugging files around for a government records department, sorting them, then shelving them. I went in wearing trousers, shoes and a shirt (as i thought it was office based) and its a job requiring hob nail boots and shorts. There were 5 of us, the rest whom had generally suitable attire and all australian too. Being escorted down to "the basement" in a line i felt like i was starting a custodial stretch, it was like walking into a dungeon or a prison. At that moment i thought that i'd have to get up everyday and spend the day in a dark dirty basement with no air or light doing this mind numbing task. I didn't come to australia for this. So i jacked it in, i finished the first day just to get paid but i couldn't have got out of there quick enough. I just decided that I've got to have respect for myself and i didn't come all this way away to have a miserable time and be in a sulky mood. So i packed it in, and i felt good about doing it because i was for once putting myself first. You see, i don't want to be one of these people who wish their lives away, waiting for the clock to strike 5pm so they can go home and not look forward to going in the next day. So the day i do, i pack it in. I have belief that i am worth more and that everything-happens-for-a-reason. I've never felt quite that way about a job before as i did that day. It turns out though, that just round the corner was another opportunity. For the past three weeks i have been working for one of the legal recruitment agencies i am signed up with assisting with their actual payroll. Which is hilarious as i am terrible with both math's and with money. Originally it was only scheduled for 3 days a week for 3 weeks to cover someone's holiday but i got on well with them and ended up doing 3 nearly full weeks there. Oh, and i am working with an office full of women, 13 to be exact. It was both hilarious and scary in equal measures being the only guy in the middle of it all, especially at the end of week drinks on a friday afternoon when they've all had a couple of glasses of wine :) But i enjoyed my time there and my desk was next to the radio so i got to zone out and listened to the station "Triple J" (bit like XFM) which has so much great music on, although i got told off for playing Jimi Hendrix too loud when it came on. "Do you realise this is in fact a place of work tom?" i was told. After this i didn't have anything more lined up, until this morning when i got a call from one of the girls who has found me a month as a paralegal for a mining firm in the city. This has all kind of turned into alot more work than play and total lack of beach time, but i think you get a better feel for what life is really like to live somewhere when you live and work there for a decent length of time. Plus i know that it is my time to chill when i leave brisbane and get to the US.

As far as the play that i have been doing; i've been going to alot of live shows recently. Alot at the venue "The Troubadour" on Brunswick Street Mall where I saw Tristan the night after I got into town. I've seen some amazing stuff, some weird/interesting stuff and some very average stuff. I've met some really interesting and creative people also. Everyone from artists to novelists. I heard what i can only describe as "post-apocalyptic folk music" from Marisa Nadler. She sounds like a gypsy woman, with heavily reverbed vocals and folksy picked guitar. The entire crowd were just sat there tripping out, it was so intense. She is the sort of artist who you wouldn't want to listen to a whole cd as its as epic and depressive as you can get, but there is some sonic quality to it that is so tonally intriguing. I'd never heard of her before but I later found out she did a BBC Radio One session last year. I've also seen Jen Cloher & The Endless Sea, Andrew Morris, Holly Throsby, The Sleepy Jackson and Laura Jean (all australian). I also just saw Andrew Morris again last Sunday doing a solo acoustic show which was really good 'cause his stuff and his voice sound alot like mine so i have something to measure myself against and take direct inspiration from. He is actually Bernard Fanning's* guitarist, who is wasted just playing guitar in my opinion. (* if you were here in Ozzy you'd know exactly who Mr Fanning is, he is massive here and has a brilliant solo album). But the one i was really looking forward to, the one band that i did not want to leave Australia without seeing first - The Beautiful Girls, played on Friday @ The Tivoli ("the tiv"). As usual they were awesome bringing together their groovin mix of acoustic/dub reggae/blues-type wickedness. As normal i was up the front in my normal spot, which i've noticed is so much easier to get if you get there at a half reasonable time than in london. Back home to get these spots you have to be queued up 2 hours before the doors open to get it, here you get there a half hour before the support band come on and its straight up the front :)

The world cup presented itself as a major pain in the behind as the games were often on at either 3am or 5am during the (working) week which meant that i only ever watched the England matches. The atmosphere for them here was awesome, we'd generally watch them at an english pub by the riverside and it was unbelievable firstly, how many brits there were and secondly how many of them had packed their england shirts in their luggage. It was like being in a pub back home which was actually quite scary. The fateful night for england i watched the game at a friends "july 1st canada day" (everyone shout fukeneh!) / housewarming party / randomness, fell asleep during the extra time, work up just after the penalties freezing cold and at that point where the hangover has just set in but you haven't slept any of it off yet and this at its most violent. So, to try to counteract it I ran the two miles home at about 5am that sunday morning. The weekends have been a blur, everyone i know here is working too, so the weekends are turned into a mess as (and i was surprised at this) even some (and i use "some" lightly) travellers have to keep it together during the week for a 9am start. One saturday night a couple of weeks ago involved Dale and I being chased by bouncers around the Empire Hotel, as in a drunken haze we decided that the $20 cover charge was too steep so jumped the rope, eventually we lost them and had to change some clothes around so as to not stand out (or at least I thought that would help us become less distinguishable). All the while during the high speed chase i just couldn't get the music from Smokey and the Bandit out of my head :) I didn't look back to see if they ended up on their heads like the sheriff but i was very glad the next morning to realise we had avoided picking up two broken legs as souvenirs.

More goings one with my guitar. I have finally bought one!! Only not the one i said i was getting in the last post. I had this strange feeling that the one I had selected just wasn't right. I felt it was too fragile, badly constructed, the sound wasn't as good as it could have been and I didn't want a cut-away. So, I cancelled it and ordered a much better one. Its a completely different make, model and type of guitar. Its the Australian guitar that I always wanted but could ill afford. I decided that as this is gonna be the thing that I have for the next 30 years, I may as well be happy with it. So I went for what has been deemed "the touring muso's guitar" (due to the fact that 90% of touring musicians in Oz use one) - the Maton ECW80. Mat McHugh from The Beautiful Girls uses one too and was using it on Friday. I even had ECW80 as my password at work for a year before I came away, it was the one I always wished I could get. It turned out i needed to custom order it, but fortunately there happened to be one in the factory that had just been made (this saved 2 months of waiting!). It is lovely and it sounds SO good. i am trying not to play it too much as i don't want to become too attached to it as i have to send it off in the next couple of weeks, but i am failing miserably... it will be like saying goodbye to a loved one and i will worry until it calls when it arrives at its destination to say it got there safely. I have written a bunch of songs on it already. Did i say it sounds SO good? I've never owned a guitar of this quality or price range before. Just need to pay off the credit card bill now (and its a bigger one than i want thats all i'll say), i'm off to find a street corner to set up on after this...

A few random observations to lead us out:
I've noticed in Australia how people seem to follow the pattern of the traffic everywhere they go and walk to the left-hand side of the sidewalk. Is this the same in the UK? I don't think it is? If you try to make your way along the city street bearing to the right, you are met with encumbrance after encumbrance and looks of dissatisfaction and aggravation. Whats with this? Isn't life regimented enough without such stupid rules... So yes you guessed it, i have taken it upon myself to make a stand and everywhere i go i walk on the right hand side. Although i am constantly avoiding being run down my bikes and joggers, i feel that its my place to lead this revolution.

I've also noticed that there is a total lack of censorship in the news, on the radio, everywhere. When the news reports a murder they provide full details of how the assailant went about mutilating his victim as if they were giving instruction open how to do it. In the UK, if a song contains anything remotely similar to a swear word it will be rubbed out full stop. Here they will play not only the full unedited version of naughty popular songs but they will actually
A heard a tune on the radio station Triple J (awesome station which i listen to at work) last week at about 11am whose chorus repeated: "I f*cking love you but you're f*cking crazy" they also play the full unedited versions of stuff like Ghostface Killer tracks. No word of a lie. The presenters swear with regularity and when people are interviewed they never edit anything (the only exception is the "c word"). I also saw a film a few weeks ago which was classed as an M15+ (15 or over or accompanied by an adult) which in the UK would barely make the 18 certificate.
Maybe this censorship culture of ours is protecting us from a seedy underworld or maybe it is just contributing to the british uptightness, lack of sense of humor and uneasy going nature?

Anyways, i was due to leave Brisbane at the end of this week and make my way up the coast for a couple of weeks. Then the plan was to come back to Brisbane for 2 gigs at the start of August (Jason Mraz and Carus) before I fly out of sydney in mid-August but because i originally only budgeted for 6 months in Oz (and i secretly didn't think i'd even last that long) i can't really afford to spend savings before i get to the US, if i'm to have a decent chance of staying out there as long as i can. So, i have decided to stay here in brisbane for a while longer to work some more (even though i really don't want to) and then do the coast the week before i leave for Frisco!

Living through music

I've always listened to alot of older music, i am going back to before i was born and soaking it all up, all things 60’s and 70’s. Music sounds so fresh and simple (as it basically was back when it originally came out). Lots of acoustic guitars and harmonicas and pianos. Simple and beautiful. Finding "new" old music is so cool. Its like a load of new release's which you don't have to wait for to come out. You can't beat a bit of Bob Dylan, John Martyn, Simon & Garfunkel, Steven Stills, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, Johnny Cash, Bonnie Raitt, Neil Young or The Doors. You can also hear the influence they have had on the artists of the current day who grewn up with them. All music comes from an influence, there are very few leaders or style makers. But I think that without influences you get lost, most successful songwriters will happily agree with this. The drive to be original has often lead bands to just be avant garde atonal noise, which has its place and underground following but you can't sing along to it or recall a certain time in your life as soon as the intro starts playing. There is, and only will ever be, one Dylan, Marley and Hendrix. Everyone else follows, but these are worthy mentors to follow in the footsteps of in my opinion.

I really feel like i have rediscovered what music is all about since being away, i have immersed myself with it. I've become obsessed with melodies as well. Skipping buying lunch just so i can justify buying that cd of the guy/girl i just saw live, making going to see shows my number one priority. I always knew it was important to me, but not as much as I now realise. Music has been something that has comforted me, motivated me, its been my one continuous friend for the past 7 months and its rarely let me down. Daily life is about being cerebral, plodding along living what is the reality of life, bills, rent, work, etc. but music is such a great outlet to just be emotional and let true emotions flow, to interpret something just through feeling... to be creative. There is no price which can be put upon that. However, on the downside it hasn't helped my tinnitus and my iPod has absolutely NO space left. Its been amazing though, i am getting to see all these bands that i've always wanted to see, who either rarely come to the UK or never have. For example, i just bought a ticket to see Ani DiFranco in LA on september 23rd - i've always wanted to see Ani!! I have heard from others that it is very inspiring to watch her, so for all these things i am so lucky.

Music is all about playing live, if you can't cut it on stage, you are nothing you are not a credible musician. The beauty of the music world is relentless touring, the opportunities, the people, the new countries, the road trips, the sights, sounds and smells of being "on the road" this is where an artist should wear their heart on their sleeves and get their real feedback, through packed out shows or people coming up to speak to you after the gig, not record sales. I recently read about further reports of the music industry crying sour grapes over the illegal downloading of music. Sure as an artist who has just released my album after many years of writing, playing shows and working to get that album out, it would be a dream come true to have your first album out on the shelve of your local HMV, and if the early to first/second quarter sales figures were less than expected (this is the sign of a "failure" according to the music industry!!?) then you would be heartbroken and probably also dropped from your contract. However, why does the music industry still fail to realise that the most powerful marketing tool is having listeners downloading this music for free? It has rejuvinated music and made it interesting again, and i am not just talking about the DIY-artist age we are experiencing. But the variety and freedom to explore music that we have through file sharing. Its about discovering an artist that you would never buy the album of but you download it and it grows on you. you end up becoming a big fan and then next time they release an album you like them so much you want your own hard copy or when they come to your town on tour, you are the first one at the front of the queue for a ticket and some merchandise. If one person says how much they enjoyed the gig or a particular song and then buy a cd off the back of it, then that would make my night x100. After all you can't download a ticket to a show or t-shirt at the end. You can't download a pint of beer or glass of wine at the bar either (?). So I says, why not give the music away for free (not literally) but don't make a song or dance about your mp3 turning up on millions of hardrives, don't spend millons trying to encode cd's with copy control encryption which stops 99% of music fans putting it on their iPod's, which is what they buy it to do. This is coming from someone who wants to work in the industry, so i am not rubbishing the entire thing. Maybe the music industry start a new chart which is based upon the amount of illegal downloads to computer hard drives around the world!? :)

I love going to gigs and watching live music, the smaller the venue often the better, I love getting there before it starts, getting a good spot and standing looking at a blank lit stage and just waiting in anticipation. I love watching them set it all up whilst the PA system plays. I always think about where the artist is, what they are doing backstage - warming up, getting in the zone. How they prepare, how they warm up, when they write the setlist, what it says. Then when they walk on, the anticipation, how they interact with the crowd. Everything about the performance, what chords they play, how they make transitions from one chord to the other, rapport on stage, stage prescence, etc. It totally trips me out when I see tour lists of shows that musical artists do (like on their websites). They play so many consecutive dates, one town then move onto the next town for the next show the very next day and keep doing that for x amount of weeks. It must be such a blast, travelling to the show, playing, meeting everyone afterwards and having drinks with them, packing up and moving onto the next town and doing the whole exact same thing again the next day. Sure, it would get tiring, it would be tough but to have the opportunity and freedom to be able to go out and do all that stuff rather than traipse to work every morning doing the exact same thing day-in-day out, would be an amazing blessing. As long as you are earning enough money to keep your head above water, its all good. It would be my dream to be able to live a life like this. Then when you do get the odd day off between shows you can relax in the city, see the sights, a bit like a "free" holiday (I think you'd have to haul your ass out of bed and keep the body clock ticking right. Although I am sure most bands will say i see this life through rose tinted spectacles, but i would be so "up for it" and willing to lead this life that it excites me even writing about it). But no, i am not seeking "fame and fortune" i don't care, all i want in the world is to play my music to people who listen and will enjoy it. If it one of my songs ever evokes an emotion within someone or they relate a theme or scenario from it to something in their lives, then i will be forever happy.
There is a lyric in a song by Jason Mraz where he says "fame is nothing more than loving someone and fortune is nothing more than loving what you do". Its so true, fame is not something you are, it doesn't make you good, it is nothing more than someone else loving what you do, no matter how big or how small everyone is famous. Fortune is where its at, fortune is what artists do it for, the love for their craft, always challenging their last song, performance or recording. Since being away and seeing so many places, and also working as a temp and seeing so many different work environments and meeting so many people within at these places - i maybe realise that i am not sure i actually want to settle anywhere. Not for a few years anyway. I want to be able to regularly drop out of the life i know and the person everyone else knows me as and experience different environments, i think by doing so it keeps you enthusiastic and creative towards your "real" life. As a temp i see countless numbers of miserable people working away, wasting time - doing something they don't enjoy - i won't let that be me. If its all about money then money isn't THAT important to me.

By the way, Arctic Monkeys are the latest BIG thing over here, all these style-ite moody looking bohemian kids are going crazy over them. According to rolling stone magazine its the same in the US too. I think its great, here are a bunch of pale spotty faced northern very working class lads singing in a northern accent about VERY (often pretty mingin') english things and the whole world is lapping it up! I love it, except their gig sold out in minutes over here so i didn't get a ticket. The other artist creating waves is Robbie, who had a petition running in brisbane to play another a second date to the one that sold out in literally 5 minutes! crazy, crazy...

I recently secured myself a myspace music page (www.myspace.com/tommilway) in anticipation for when I get my shizzle together. The beauty about this page, and the myspace concept, is that its a relatively easy way to get your name out there among the whole world of music fans. Every band has a myspace page nowadays and by getting a link (by becoming a 'friend' of theirs, like a reciprocal link) you can get their fans to listen (this is the theoretically romantic view BTW). I love myspace you can get lost in it for hours and also discover some very cool people, music and things... try it one day when you have some spare time (ok, none of us do these days, so make time) and start on an artist or something that you like and just hop around. Before you know it you'll discover something new and exciting... i promise :)

What the blog?

This blogging lark is an interesting thing. It is actually very theraputic. I find it easier to express my real self, via this medium of "fingertip freestyle" (i can also think before i speak here which i've learnt to be a very valuable facility :) I will defer to Ms Miranda Barber (LINK: highly advised to check out) taken from her myspace page:

"I've been rather adverse to getting involved in all this blog stuff. It has seemed like an additional chore. Something else to keep up with and keep track of... But in the midst of spewing my fiery bile (I was also having a pretty lousy day I should add...you know, one of those what am I doing, is this worth it, what the fuck will I have to retire on, I don't have a pot to piss in days), I suddenly realised that I could get all this shit out in a blog. It's simply not appropriate on 'the page' is it? So I read some friends' blogs and they're really quite lovely and personal and i got a sense of who these people are and how they're doing and I kind of have to eat a little bit of humble pie, with vegemite cos I fancy the salt hit.